When I tell people everything that I have going on in my life between being a single mom, work, and then school they always say “I don’t know how you do it”. Honestly some days I am not sure myself but, one thing I do know is there are a lot of areas in my life that are not getting the attention that they deserve. Physically I would say I am at an 8. For someone studying nutrition I often do not eat as well as I would like. I exercise occasionally although my job keeps me pretty physically active when I am there. Spiritually I am at a 5. I do believe in God however; I have been through a lot over the past few years and I often struggle with trying to understand why some of the things that have happened to me have. I have not been to church in several months and I feel that it definitely shows. Psychologically I am at a 7. My husband and I have separated after almost 7 years of marriage and I am dealing with everyone’s opinions about the situation. I am actually happy with the fact that we are going to divorce because; he has put me through a lot but, everyone is thinking that I am a bad person since they are only hearing one side of the story –his. I am a little bit more private and have not told anyone the things that he did to cause me to want a divorce in the first place so everyone blames me.
Physically I need to start eating better and exercising more. Spiritually I need to start going to church again and remind myself that things happen for a reason. Psychologically I need to talk to someone when I am feeling down instead of holding it all in. One activity to that I can implement in my life that will help with all three areas is yoga. I used to do yoga years ago and I felt great! However; when I started school I had to give some things up but, my daughter is actually doing yoga at school so maybe we could do it together.
I am glad that I waited until I got home from work today to try this week’s relaxation exercise. I don’t know if it is because it was a holiday or what but, a lot of the people that I work with were crabby and it definitely took its toll. The slow deep breaths alone were enough to calm me down and afterwards I felt completely relaxed. The only thing that I found frustrating about the relaxation technique was that I had a difficult time hearing what the guy was saying and I had the volume all the way up. Other than that I loved it!
I am glad that I waited until I got home from work today to try this week’s relaxation exercise. I don’t know if it is because it was a holiday or what but, a lot of the people that I work with were crabby and it definitely took its toll. The slow deep breaths alone were enough to calm me down and afterwards I felt completely relaxed. The only thing that I found frustrating about the relaxation technique was that I had a difficult time hearing what the guy was saying and I had the volume all the way up. Other than that I loved it!
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate everything you are going through. I divorced 12 years ago after 12 years of marriage. I have 2 children and it has been difficult doing everything that I do. Keep your chin up. Things definitely get better.
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI really cannot imagine what you are going thru but I am sure it is really hard. I do not doubt that you can make it as a single Mom. Men need to give us women more credit than what they do. Even though I have been married 25 years I am still very independant. My husband knows that if I want to do something I will do it 100% and there is nothing he can do about it. He also knows that if I ask him to do something for me and he does not get to it in a timley manner then I will do it myself whether I do it correctly or not the way I feel is that I tried and if it is wrong than next time he needs to find time to do it for me. I know it sounds like a crazy marriage but it has worked. What ever you do do not let others get you down it is really no ones business but you and your husbands why you are going thru a divorce and they will just have to get over it. As far as your husband telling his side of the story he just wants someone to feel sorry and pitty him. Do not let this bother you. I find it very immature for a grown man to do. My suggestion to you is find a friend that you trust and can talk to or write a journal to get everything off your chest. I keep a journal even if I just write in it "nothing exciting today" Good luck to you in school, you really need to be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself with your husband and returning to school. Life is too short. Remember to Live, Love, Laugh and alway have hope and faith.
Sherri Eldreth
Jen,
ReplyDeleteStay strong, and things will get better. I have two daughters and their Dad and I divorced when the youngest was about a year old. I will say that from the day we seperated I took on the responsibility of doing everything myself and have over the past six months realized that I do have a support system. Whether it be parents, grandparents, friends, even their Dad. I have started to tell myself that it is ok for someone to do something for the kids and this has really opened up a lot of options. Life however has kept on with it's hits. I could not find a job and ran out of unemployment. With no where to go I made the decision to have my ex and his wife take the kids while I moved out of state to my parents to rebuild. I miss my girls so much it hurts my heart and I feel it in my chest but, I take each day and make sure I'm doing the most I can to rebuild and it is working. We never know why things happen to us but, their are paths for us to take to get back to where we want to be or where we are needed.
God Bless you
Cherie
Jen, your post really inspired me, because I too deal with a lot of negative things in my life at this point, but your post shows that we are not given anything that we can not handle. I too have neglected areas in my life to try and make my life better. You know if we don't have a good well-being whos to day that the extras we are doing will be any good. We have to take care of ourselves. I too have two children and we have to be well for them. I believe that we both can stick to our goals but you and I both sound like we need a support group. I love this blogging because we can stay in touch even after class. I will pray for you and you have to do what your heart tells you or you will not be happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your words of encouragement! I really appreciate it and you hit the nail on the head when you said I need to do what my heart tells me to do in order to be happy. That has always been my goal is to just be happy and it really has been difficult trying to reach that goal with all of the negative and just plain mean people that have been in my life.
ReplyDeleteTake Care,
Jen
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI admire you for what you are doing. People are always going to have an opinion. You just need to stay positive and don't let the negative comments get you down. You know what you went through and what got you to that point. I know what it's like to be a single mother because I did that for years before I got married. Keep your head and keep doing a good job because you are bettering your life and your child's as well.
Take care,
Luna
Jen your post was cleansing. I do admire you for being the strong, courageous woman that you are. I know what it is like to raise children alone, to hear the opinions of others about me and my choices. I always said I was never celebrated always tolerated. I felt most people stayed around because of my usefulness to them and not because of the love for me. One thing that life has taught me and I can say this strongly at age 51; Be me and be happy with the me I am. God made me in His image and his likeness, not anyone elses. I was wondefully made and I am unique so therefore I cannot fit in the cookie cutter mold of others. Fortunately for me I learned this in my thirties and with confidence I live. I can honestly say, I am too caught in life to even consider the thoughts of others about me. I think I was able to have some successes because of it. You owe no one explanations for your decisions and choices, as long as you feel that you have made the best choices for you and yours that is what matters. I think you are stronger than you rate yourself. Keep being who you were made to be and keep evolving into the person you will become.
ReplyDelete